Theo seeks aspiring programmer

At no point in the history of OmniTI has it "shrunk" in size. It's a beast now and it continues to grow in fantastic ways. As such, we're are hiring.

I'm looking for a junior developer. However, I'm looking for a good junior developer. I've been so frustrated in the past with the various definitions of junior and mid-level and senior. Constantly I see an entry-level programmer come in with delusions of being an enterprise architect or a senior-level web application program because they made their own website.

At OmniTI we build big things. We regularly deal with multi-terabyte databases, sites with tens of millions of users, and distributed systems that service hundreds of thousands of transactions per second. We use a variety of technologies (mostly focused on open source). So, when someone says that they are senior, I expect them to be able to code excellently in 2-3 languages, passably in 2-3 more and learn a new language passably inside a week if needed. I expect them to be able to merge changesets between branches and resolve complicated conflicts with the same effort they put into breathing. I expect them to be able to have a client screaming on the phone while they are troubleshooting a critical issue without moistening their chair.

Luckily, I'm not actively in the market for a senior programmer right now. However, if you are a ambitious programmer that takes considerable pride in the quality of their work, are interested in a challenging work environment where you get to play with big toys, and want the opportunity to work with and be mentored by colleagues that have been presenting and teaching at conferences for the past 10 years (and happen to hold 16 time slots at this year's OSCON) then we have an opening for you.

And to give this posting a true Theo feel, here are the rules of engagement:

1. If you have never used a VCS (version control system) or SCM (source code management), I'll beat you with a stick;
2. If I hear the word "framework," I'll beat you with a stick;
3. If you use the word "scalable" when you should have used "high performance," I'll beat you with a stick (hint: avoid the word scalable);
4. If you don't know what TCP port HTTP uses by default, I'll beat you with a stick;
5. If you don't have a sense of humor, I'll beat you with a stick (but only I will think it's funny);
6. The stupid need not apply;
7. I'm actually a really nice guy.